Regarding women, note: Women are clearly not flawless, nor “the answer”, nor a “magic bullet”. Much of their current, emerging value regarding collaboration and connection is wired in by Mother Nature herself, and expanding greatly by what women are now creating beyond that “wiring”. That said, their time, and the time, for full out collaboration everywhere, meaning with men and each other, has come – that is the heart of it. And there are real world consequences to either ignoring that or embracing that …. by both men and women (and their children, by the way).
Regarding men, note: And, for all of men’s missteps, and painful “blind spots”, there is much to be learned from, and gained from, men: their action, their courage; their concern for freedom including (by golly) their sexual expression; their facility to acquire and expand “know how”; there’s something to their creativity, their willingness to give their lives for something bigger than themselves (including on a moment’s notice). Their playfulness, their “craziness”, their humor, their integrity and honor, their “unstop-ability” —- women may have these things to learn from, or to develop further, or at least to appreciate, and account for, regarding men’s history.
Women, I suggest, are natural, rapid learners regarding almost anything. Regarding what they can learn specifically from men (this is distinct from the many things men can learn from women and their orientations), it can be/could be to learn from some of the best “qualities” (orientations) of men (as above), not their worst (i.e., aggression, “ego”, domination, shortsightedness, being “right”/stubborn, and too often, bullies). Women can both learn from and teach and develop men; and perhaps now must .… while at the same time naturally honoring, expressing, contributing and staying true to a uniquely feminine perspective that is fundamentally:
1. Inclusive not exclusive,
2. Collaborative not exploitive,
3. Connected, not estranged or disconnected, and
4. A perspective which fundamentally expresses a framework (a view) true to a perspective of the WHOLE of things and how things go t-o-g-e-t-h-e-r … not just our current era’s context, that is, a view of life and “reality” (called “reductionism”). Today’s leadership is given by a viewpoint that constantly takes things apart, separates things, or blows things apart, into tinier and tinier pieces, particles and details, purportedly to study and analyze these pieces so as to predict (and “control”) the future, a future given by this past that predicts it …..
Much of what the analytic , physical sciences, left to themselves, have shaped in us is a culture of knowing ourselves as separate, disconnected, individual parts and pieces .…disconnected things…. distinct from being connected, together, and being part of a natural whole (life: the planet). This “break-things-apart”, “leave-things-apart” view we have, not just in science and analysis, but also in our very view of ourselves …. our separate identities, our private prosperities, dramatizing our differences. This view of human beings as merely “things”, objects, particles to be analyzed, predicted and controlled…. can be catastrophic if it continues out of balance, out of context.
Consider: For mastery, in life and leadership, both perspectives – seeing small, the parts and pieces of something and seeing large, the whole of things – are needed and required – situation to situation.
Women can (and do) bring a view of the whole of things and their connection, not just a view of the separate parts and pieces.
All authentic leadership today requires, amongst other things, women’s “natural” abilities and orientation —- inclusion, connection, collaboration, inside a view and a commitment to “the whole of things” (i.e., including all of the globe and life itself). Women can definitely, and naturally, facilitate and enable this shift to connection and collaboration in our world … if women are in turn enabled by each other, and are not reduced to being “male clones” or “male caricatures”, automated and given by what we refer to as “men’s blind spots” —- unfettered ego, “control”, competition at all cost, triumphant individualism —- if women are willing to, committed to, openly p-a-r-t-n-e-r and collaborate w-i-t-h men.
Vivid and real examples of women who lead collaboratively was vividly expressed in the New York Times article, “Senate Women Lead in Effort To Find Accord”, (October 14th, 2013). It reports that Susan Collins (Maine) says, “I don’t think it’s a coincidence that women were so heavily involved in trying to end this stalemate,” Ms. Collins said. “Although we span the ideological spectrum, we are used to working together in a collaborative way.” Other examples amongst many women who are already in “the public eye”, who collaborate, contribute and make a difference, might include the First Lady, Michele Obama; Angeline Jolie; Meryl Streep; Meg Whitman; Hilary Rodman-Clinton; Oprah Winfrey; Malala Yousafzai; amongst many, many, many others.
Re-claiming men: As allies, resources, partners, and champions is required, and required now. (Reclaiming from what?) From the more-than-occasional view of the last 40 years that men are, have been, must be, in the way, the obstacle, or even, at times, the enemy (or worse, obsolete). (For a different, more simpatico view of men …. from a “feminist” …. see Camille Paglia: “2013: The Year Men Became Obsolete?”). If they once were “in the way”, men now can …. must …. and will .… move on, especially our men leaders).
Today, 2014, we men and women get to cause, intentionally, a shift from exploitation to collaboration.
How?
One conversation at a time …. whether with one person or millions (through media)!
Our culture is, quite literally, a network of conversations. Conversations are what gives birth to, forward, shape all ideas and actions – always.
Every cultural shift, each and every new, innovative, technical, financial, educational, social, practical human reality and advancement is always born first as, is spoken first as, a possibility. Possibility comes from the Latin word “potere” – “to be able”, and “esse” – “to be”. Possibility literally means, from the Latin, “able to be”. All human-made realities are brought forth first in thought, word and deed first as possibilities (see Landmark Education as a vivd resource for discovering and re-discovering the nature of possibility and the nature of the future). Possibility is the birthplace of all new realities. If we are to give birth to a world of collaboration, it must and does clearly stand on the shoulders of, and now moves clearly and decisively beyond, the historical mind-sets of exploitation, domination and scarcity.
Collaboration can and does build upon and include healthy, innovative competition (what some of us now call “co-optition”). In fact, “exploiting” as in “leveraging , taking advantage of a fresh opportunity,” versus ripping someone or something off, can actually work! And can be essential!
So — as one generates, invents and shares any new possibility, any conversation, including this conversation in this article…. widely …. actual practice will and does work. Practice is “to intentionally repeat actions”. Conversations, themselves, are the actions to give birth to collaboration, to forward that, to develop that, to present that.
How does one do that?
One opens one’s mouth.
One speaks and listens, writes and reads; one communicates, one contributes. As you communicate, with yourself and the world, notice where you are coming from. Ask yourself: “Is this conversation, or thought I am in – right here, right now – fundamentally collaborative in nature? Or, exploitive in nature? Or, competitive in nature? — Which is it?”
Ask yourself: “What am I committed to provide or to get in this conversation, right here, right now (including reading this article)?”
Ask your leaders: “What are you authentically committed to?” Get straight with them, past the pretenses. Get straight with yourself: “What am I really up to, now with my life, my work, my love?”
Speculate/educate/communicate: What actions, policies, structures, strategies would allow, favor, facilitate, grease the slide for, the shift to a collaborative framework, context, or culture? Where can, do, or could human beings contribute directly to each other and be known to each other as such? How might a fully collaborative planet be distinct from and contrast with human beings merely competing with, dominating or exploiting …. each other …. and the Earth itself?
Leadership, history, men and women can work, now, in partnership. We are now educationally and culturally equipped to, and have begun to, build and transform ourselves into what is now needed and wanted: collaboration … throughout the entire planet.
Consider: If we fail in this endeavor …. to globally collaborate .… perhaps (just perhaps) the game called human being on planet Earth may actually be over .… like bye- bye inside this century!
At bottom, you get and I get to say …. as a matter of our word, our stand, our conversations.
How is it gonna go?
And who gets to say?
© Tony Smith
